wow how life changes fast

So just a few days ago I sat here writing about what is good in my life, and with in a few short hours that can change, oh how that can change. Yesterday Twist and I were sitting there having one of our "normal" days, snuggling, giggling and talking. We went out shopping and got some things for Kat for Christmas from Uncle AJ and Aunt Kelly. We talked about things we wanted from life, like what kind of dogs we wanted lol, and dreamed about walking them together holding hands walking down the street. Then one text message came through his phone, the EX. Its amazing how he went from being my strong Twist, into this puddle on the floor. That's when the ball dropped. He says he cares, but is not over here. I don't think that is possible to care for two people at once. I mean he said its not a "cop out" but wtf else does it look like. It looks like "hey chick your cool, and we have fun but I want to be able to do what ever i want, and that includes the ex that shattered my heart". I mean that's cool too, but it just hurt alot. How can you look at one person balling their eyes out and say yea your worth fighting for, yea your amazing, yea you make me happier beyond belief but I need time to figure out what I want? I respect him and his decisions. he really has brought alot to my life that I am thankful for, he gave me the strength to come out to my family and friends that did not know, but its still hard to take that I let someone into some of my most intimate thoughts and then they just turn around and walk away for no reason other than some bull shit line about their ex... what ever i get it. I am angry and hurt and sad, but my feelings do not matter at this point and time. If this is what he wants, to walk away from me, then i am ok with that too. It is all about what decisions you want to make in your life, and if you feel that is best then go for it mama. I am not going to stand in front of someone and their happiness even if it means I have to suffer. I hope that things are not like this, and that he does come back, but who knows any more. I have always been replaceable, so why would things be different for Twist? It was nice to know that even for a minute that someone accepted the real me for me, and did not think twice about things. One day that will come to me, but for now its the least of my concern. For now I will just lick my wounds and Cary on with my life. I have things in my life that make me smile in different ways. It was just amazing to know that I made one person feel that way. Makes me feel great about myself. One day I hope I can make someone feel as great as I was able to feel in those moments in time.